Im at my wits end with my daughter

[olmate]

Hello Nik

& does having him there help?- I think it does, as you would know nothing we say is right so it helps with the b/f having a whisper in her ear

How are you doing? It sounds like a lot to manage-  im going ok thanks at least we got to give the brain a rest from the turmoil for a couple of days. I have to keep it together the old girl loses the plot occasionally, i think its because we haven't got a clue what to do

Thx NikNik

[CherryBomb]

Hi @olmate 

How you doing? I've not been around, but have read your posts. Sorry to hear that you had to ct your holiday short.

You might be interested in these courses that @3forme posted here. They're specifically for people who care for/about people with MI. Also, the Family Drug Helpline has some great free resources. These could possibly offer you some strategies to approach your daughter.

[Hobbit]

Hi @olmate 

Just thought I'd check in and see how things are going?

Hobbit.

[olmate]

Hello guys

Not much to report, she has been back to the doctor and got the much needed referral so it will be interesting to see what happens from here.

I will be asking questions if i havnt got an appointment date by Tuesday. It will be get the appointment or get out, ill feel like a goose if she gets out

Thanks for the support you have all given me

Thank You

olmate

[olmate]

Im back

Well after asking on Monday night about the appointment for the psychologist she told me she got the referral what else do i want Well that was it i went ballistic at her

That worked well, she got pissed the next day

My wife found her wandering home and picked her up,she lashed out at my wife hitting and slapping her while she was driving, she covered in bruises. Also did @ $600 damage to the car

I rung around and spoke to a mental health expert who said we are on the right track with who shes seeing and what we are doing. He also said as a mental health expert he couldn't comment to me about telling her to get out .

As a father he hinted that it would be the path he would take and said sadly it could end in one of two ways, he said hopefully for the best way

Today she rang the psychologist to make an appointment but they wern't open so she better do something about it today

I stressed to her today that another occurrence of being drunk will = OUT

The trouble is if she does get pissed we spend hours and hours looking for her and hope nothing untoward has happened to her

If she cant see she needs help now she never will

Oh well tomorrow is another day

[Alessandra1992]

Baby steps @olmate...she has a referral which is a big step forward...have you contacted family drug help?
My mum had to be tough with my brothers years ago due to similar issues..not easy at all...

[olmate]

Hello

Thanks Sandy

I knew something was going on on Saturday when she fizzing around so i asked she told me she was meeting her b/f, we soon found out this was crap she was just trying to go and get pissed, so i told her dont come back

Anyway we got a phone call today saying she was drunk in a public place

The policewoman and the ambo said it seemed strange that someone with depression was acting like this and asked if she has been treated for bipolar

I know nothing at all about bipolar or the medication she should or should not be on any help would be appreciated

Thank You All

[Baboo]

Hello Olmate,

My name is Baboo, i tried to explain in my own words what bipolar is a few times but instead i thought i should copy and paste a paragraph from the internet :P:

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder is the name used to describe a set of 'mood swing' conditions, the most severe form of which used to be called 'manic depression'.

Bipolar disorder I is the more severe disorder in terms of symptoms- with individuals being more likely to experience mania, have longer 'highs', be more likely to have psychotic experiences and be more likely to be hospitalised.

Bipolar disorder II is diagnosed when a person experiences the symptoms of a high but with no psychotic experiences. These hypomanic episodes tending to last a few hours or a few days, but longitudinal studies suggest impairment is often as severe as in bipolar I disorder.

The high moods are called mania or hypomania and the low mood is called depression.

However, it is important to note that everyone has mood swings from time to time. It is only when these moods become extreme and interfere with personal and professional life that bipolar disorder may be present and a psychiatric assessment may be warranted.

Little steps forward can only be made with your doctors assistance and your daughters co-opperation in this process.

When does your daughter go to the doctor next- do you go with her?

This must be very frustrating- have hope- dont give up 🙂

[olmate]

Thanks Baboo

My wife says her mood swings are really bad. I don't see all this because im at work and she behaves well when im around but i have noticed that when an episode is coming on she struts around like she in full control and well aware of whats going on. When i ask her why did she have a drink she says she cant remember

I have been in to see the doctor a couple of times on my own then she goes in, the reason i have is because she seems very normal but i can imagine the lies she would be telling him. I even went as far as telling him that we are a reasonably normal family that has the odd fight and all the rest of what happens with familys. None of the kids have ever wanted or gone without anything and our marriage is probably as good as anyones after 30 years

I tried ringing the doctor today but wasn't open so ill try tomorrow

Thank You All

[Alessandra1992]

Hmm @olmate, given your daughter's recent history I think maybe try and be more open with the drs you see. Hard to help a family if the family is painting whitewash over their situation.
The question is not about what material things you've provided your family but its emotional security.. And you have posted in the past you have been a bit of a drinker? So maybe that may have influenced your daughter's tendencies with alcohol..
And please, I am not wanting to offend or blame anyone, sometimes addictions and mental health happen in families for no reason..just increases risk factors when there are any addictions..
So in my family, my brothers have had drug addictions and battled depression, anxiety and impacted on their lives in adult years from adolescent times. Me, I got diagnosed after becoming a parent, nicotine my addiction but really struggled with anxiety..
Our family when I grew up provided a home, but trauma came with it...so financially stable but emotionally crappy..
Please be kind to your lovely wife who has been copping the brunt of your daughter's miid swings, and be kind if you can, to your daughter, she sounds as though she is battling alcohol as well as mental health.. Perhaps Al Anon might be a good place for you to contact to help cope with your daughter's addiction? Or Sharc's Action Recovery Course, Sharc is based in south Caulfield but run groups for carers all over Melb. Sharc.org.au.