Lived Experience Forum

[Gwynn]

About 7 years ago I was diagnosed with BPD by a psychologist I didn't get along with, to the point I put in a formal complaint about him for implying I was stupid.  Do I have BPD or was this him just labelling me because we didn't get on?  @BPDSurvivor , what do you think?  What are the signs of BPD?

[Owlunar]

Hi @Gwynn 

You can look up the signs of BPD on the internet and make up your own mind about whether you have it yourself

Though all the disorders attibuted to MI - I think - are mostly labels that communicate someone's professional idea of your health in that area. They may or may not be true or correct.

You are the same person you were before the diagnosis and clearly you did not get on with that psychologist - it's good that you reported him for trying to label you with "Stupid" - that would not be appropriate

@BPDSurvivor and others know more about this disorder than I do though I have read a lot about it on the internet. I don't know you personally and probably would not pick it up just talking to you

I wish you the best though and hope you continue posting here. I would like to take the chance to welcome you to the Forum Family now

I hope things look better for you too

Dec

[Appleblossom]

@Gwynn 

I have not been officially diagnosed with BPD  ... last year I contacted the Cat team.  There were some strange things going on with whether or not I was to be admitted, I was told to take my suitcase, and then told at the PARC to go home.  It was all very distressing and very strange.  A few weeks later with my GP she told me that the Cat team had diagnosed me with BPD on an email.  She then told me they did that to people they did not like ... she agreed to see me on a regular basis weekly fortnightly as needed.  Her specific interest is MH and she has done many workshops and extra study in the field.  Last month she made a deliberate act in giving me a certificiate of normal...with kindness. My life story is heavily influenced by MI.  I appreciate her position and ongoing care.  I am not likely to ever call Cat team again.  

My suggestion would be to take it with a grain of salt. That psych may not have been able to see past his/her own biases.   It can be very hard to overcome these experiences because as patients we unveil our souls and are extra vulnerable, so the wounding can go deep.  Do your own research.  

[Bow]

hi @Gwynn  dont believe ive spoken to you before, so hi 

I too was diagnosed bpd some 10+ years ago, i am unsure if it is accurate now though?, a psychiatrist i seen recently said he wasnt sure if i had bpd or complex ptsd, saying it was hard to distiguise between the two? i guess to me it doesnt really matter. 

i think if you do a quick google search and look at the typical behaviours, moods etc listed of those with a bpd diagnosis, alot are also typical of alot of people who have a mi. its once you dig a bit deeper perhaps and look at the why behind it all that you understand the bpd a bit more. i think bpd people are rather complex people and if you didnt have a very good relationship with your then psychologist and you question the diagnosis, then i would for sure seek a second opinion.

i personally believe that i was labelled that back all those years ago cause they didnt know what else to call me. they put me into the too hard basket.

all the best @Gwynn 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Gwynn ,

It's a good question you've asked. Having BPD means you have any 5 of the 9 traits. This means it is extremely broad. One person with BPD may be completely different to another with BPD. There can be hundreds of combinations of these 5 traits for someone to be diagnosed with BPD. Even then, there are levels of severity with any one trait! Confusing, eh?

Well I had the fortunate (unfortunate?) case of fulfilling all 9 characteristics. There was not uncertainty about my diagnosis. The major implication was emotional dysregulation. I was off the charts and could not function effectively in society. My suicidal ideation and behaviour meant I was not safe on most days.

I have found that you need specific BPD therapists - ones who have the heart and compassion to handle borderlines. The patience and empathy one needs is immense. They have to be willing to work with risk. Fortunately, I do have one of these therapists. He thrives on working with people who have a diagnosis of BPD. That's the work he enjoys. Funnily enough, I know I myself would not have the patience to deal with borderlines. I would get too frustrated. This is how I think the majority of therapists think - borderlines are a waste of time because they are manipulative, attention-seeking etc. Medication does not 'fix' BPD. It takes months/years to see changes and this doesn't give therapists the instant gratification  that they may get from someone with a different MI. Does this sort of make sense?

But I do need to emphasise and reiterate that there ARE therapists and treating teams who thrive on working with BPD-diagnosed people - we just need to find them!

So no, @Gwynn , I cannot answer you as to whether you have BPD or not. As far as I see it, recovery is about working with and on things that are not working well in life so that there are changes. This didn't need a diagnosis.

Hope this makes some sense,

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

Also, @Gwynn , if you had a PARC assessment, usually you do take your suitcase and stay on. However, if at the assessment, you are deemed too high-risk or that what PARC offers you would not be beneficial, you would be sent home. So I do understand what you mean. PARC does not have on site nurses 24/7. Hence highly suicidal clients are not admitted.

[Appleblossom]

@BPDSurvivor 

It was me that spoke about the suitcase at PARC and it was in last November, so recent history. I really like that you advocate strongly towards therapy, recovery and optimism.

The CAT team the day before said that I was not likely to be refused as I was not on any substances, alcohol or aggressive.  I babbled away nervously during the PARC interview making out things were a lot better than they were, as that is my default position.   They sent me home apparently as thought my acuity was low?  It was not, but the whole 2 month event was a BIG message to my son about the services, outside of his own experiences.

As it turned out I found my old GP online ... I had lost her, as she had changed surgeries which was probably another trigger to my "breakdown" I had about 12 triggers now that I am reflecting and  counting.

HISTORY of MENTAL HEALTH APPROACHES

Seems worth raising. 

Back in the late 1980s my pdoc told me my brother probably had BPD.  He had some of the main behaviours badly and probably fit that bill.  I was studying psychosocial theory at serious uni at the time.  The pdoc gave me MDD label back then, but was also leery of labels.  

Yes @Gwynn  it is often a too hard catch all phrase.  Cant call them psychotic, but they are worse than neurotic, so lets call them borderline.  That is all the actual "title" means. Somewhere between. Academics and pdocs trying to understand and conceptualise it. If it is ongoing, it must be a personality disorder.

Mental Health approaches and treatments have become more theorised and systematised over 20th cent.  I liked that they started to investigate trauma and causing events.  The recent interest in trauma seems a way of the field looking beyond mere lablels and in that it is good.  I read the thread about the Sane discussion topic last month and also thought a lot of good points were raised.   Somehow "trauma" has become flavour of the month or a fashion.  Or maybe it is the gradual accumulation of knowledge and understanding in the peer reviewed journals ... so now they have moved on and understand more about neuroscience, causation, developmental milestones and all that.  PTSD and Cptsd are even more recent concepts entering the field.

Bottom line is finding people who are a good fit for your needs.  I spent 40 years trying to find what was wrong with me, in my own studies and in contact with mh professionals.  My lovely Gp is helping me see that my responses have most likely been normal considering the circumstances.  Sometimes it is more qualifications that might help, but not always.  Sometimes a different role and just some worker who happens to have the personal experience, which is less likely to pass judgment, and honestly try and meet the person they are supposed to be trying to help.

Some of us have low self esteem and so are alright with putting ourselves in boxes, but maybe its not the right thing to do, cos as humans we are often changing in small ways, getting a little older and hopefully wiser.

[Owlunar]

Thanks for your thoughts @BPDSurvivor  - you have so much-needed information about BPD  - I am really glad to hear what you have to say on the subject 

I wishI knew more  - I am pretty sure my late son had BPD  - it has been  a long time now  - it seemed at the time there wasn't anything anyone who could help  - perhaps everyone was as frustrated as I was  - he was very young 

Thanks again for your input 

Dec 

[MichMichelle]

I think that to often people are diagnosed with BPD rather than what's really going on with you. I was diagnosed with BPD rather than ptsd and depression. Get a second opinion from a good psychiatrist.
Good luck

[Gwynn]

Thanks everyone for the reassurances, I don't know why that diagnosis from 7 years ago was top of my mind this morning, but it was.  I was under the care of a decent psychologist for a while at the end of 2019 and beginning of 2020, so surely she would have mentioned it if she thought I have BPD.