I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I just sat and tried to write but I can’t do it. My heart rate is outta control. My chest hurts. I’m shaking. I can’t breathe. It’s too hard. 

I really tried. I really did. Now I’m not ok. Im really distressed. 

I’ve be on the receiving end of some amazing peer support workers so I may have learnt something along the way. I do have 2 people that already come to me anyway. I think I can do it. I would like to think that I’m personable enough. @Jynx 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 you tried!! Good on you!! Now it's okay to put it all away, and think about other stuff!! What are your doggos up to, are they getting all cuddly now the weather has started to turn? 

I can't wait to hear about it hey!! When does training start?

[Captain24]

I did finish a Lego kit earlier today. @Jynx. It s been sitting there for weeks. I just did the last bag. I just did it to get it out of the way. 

I’ve given the dogs a fresh bone each so they are happy. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 niiiice!! Aww cutie panda!! OMG have you seen that video of the panda who makes faces when he cracks bamboo? it's soooo cute!

Wish I had.... whatever the human equivalent of a fresh bone is.... ahaha pizza? Maybe it's pizza.

[Captain24]

No I haven't seen that @Jynx 

It’s funny you say that but I did order pizza! I just couldn’t eat it. I’m not hungry. To stressed. 

Can you help me calm down? 

My course starts next Wednesday for 2 days. 

[Jynx]

Yeah! @Captain24 wanna sing a dumb song with me? Liiiiike hmm....

Heeeeeeyyyyy heyy babay!! 

OOH 

AHH

I wanna knooow oh oh oh 

(oh oh oh)

....?

[Captain24]

If you’ll be my girl. @Jynx lol

I’ve taken my meds and I’ve taken prn that I never usually take. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 NAILED IT hehehe

Hmm what abouuuuut

What is love?

...?

Is that one to help you cool your nervous system down? Whenever I take one of my prn like that I literally have a little giggle cos I'm like 'I gotta take a chill pill' 🤣🤣

So long as you're in your safe med parameters that's a-okay by me hun, do you feel safe?

[Captain24]

Baby don’t hurt me

don't hurt me no more 

@Jynx 

I guess you could say it’s a chill pill. I should probably think of it more often but I was taking too many a while back and wasn’t allowed to take them. 

I don’t feel safe at all but I am. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 heheh you nailed it!! Now both of those will be stuck in my head the rest of tonight. Maybe we will both be singing silly songs at the same time!! 

I'm glad that you are safe hun, tho I wish it was a feeling as well as a state. Hope this extra squishy hug helps!! 

🫂🫂

Cos I gots to start my goodnights!! Will I see ya tomorrow or has work got you again?