I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@creative_writer like a daytime kitty soap I love it!! 😹

[Captain24]

Th aks for sharing @creative_writer 

[Captain24]

I would actually help you @Jynx. only if you helped and only if you thanked me. I had to sort out heaps of stuff for my best friend over the years and it was never good enough or never right with no thanks just on to it again another time. I literally scrubbed her house, I’m talking on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor. She did not help me at all and then complained that the cleaning stuff smelled! 

We could go from room to room and get it sorted and organised. 

But I’m sure your house has character. Mine is nice and I love it but it doesn’t have that old world charm. 

The risky behaviour totally resonates. It’s gotten me into trouble a few times. I’m really doing my best to know that the hypo is there and trying to control it. Lots of breathing and self talk. Mind you it was a quick drive home tonight! 

Sleep is a huge importance. I’m am really trying but I’m struggling with it. I have my room temp set, I have a lamp on so when I walk down the hallway that’s all the light I see, I have a shower in the lamp might, I have white noise playing. I turn the lamp off when I get into bed. I’ve trip progressive muscle relaxation, I’ve tried meditation (I despise meditation but have it a go) I never take prn but I took one the other night and that didn’t help. So I’m trying all the right things. 

I know it will pass but it’s so hard in the moment to see out. I have the thought running around in my head, will I be like this for months? 

Im having some serious SH urges. When I got to bed last night it was all I could think about, driving home was the same. Also when I went to bed last night I want to give up. Right now it’s like I only have one wish and that’s that I wish ……

I didn’t know that about cats. My dogs certainly have taste buds! It’s so cute watching Jett taste stuff and spit it out. He is pretty fussy! 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 accountability buddies! I will let you how I go with this looming inspection haha. 

Probably got too much character at the moment! It's more weird-charm than anything, though I do love me some antiques!! They have stories to tell 💜

Whether it's months or weeks or days, you can gently remind yourself that every storm passes 🌦

Do you have your safety plan or some alternative options handy, or that you could set up? Make your space safe now whilst you've got some support?

They do have taste buds lol just not ones that detect sweetness apparently! Dogs are more omnivorous/opportunistic so they can digest a wider variety of foods! 

[Captain24]

Accountability buddies sounds good @Jynx. We will get through this cleaning thing together this week. Just think of me sorting while you are. Also remember by Thursday afternoon you can rest as it’ll all be done, inspection completed and a clean house! 

They do have stories behind them. Sometimes it would be nice to know where they have been and what’s happened. I’ve got some antique jewellery. On is a ring that my nan that died a couple f years ago gave me. It was her aunties. It’s really pretty, I wore it to nans funeral. 

I have my safety plan. But I haven’t really used it but I do know have an idea for a little while. I can hold an icy pole. It’ll hurt but I’m a good way I guess. It’ll melt pretty quick, it’s still 30 degrees here. It was an absolutely beautiful day, it got to 39! How awesome, I was sitting outside in it on my breaks. So good. Anyway off track…bloody adhd! 😜 I really don’t know how to make it safe. There are so many options and so many of those options. If you get what I’m saying. 

T/W SI spoiler tag please or delete. 

[Breach of Guidelines - edited by moderator] 

Jetts not really a sweet fan. Pix is, she loves her lollies and ice cream! Well almost everything actually, there is very little she doesn’t like. Jett has absolutely nothing that he will eat regularly! It’s hard to give home medication as you don’t know if he will eat what it’s put in at that moment. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 Very true... unless I postpone!! Haha

I love that. It's so special to be able to keep that piece of her 💜

I am hearing you - we've edited out a small part of your post but mainly because you haven't really let us know whether you're safe, and it reads like potentially you are not. If you are feeling really unsure of yourself, I think calling a crisis line would be better for more immediate safety planning hun. It sounds like it's not a simple task (like hiding something or checking your safety plan for the next steps) like I thought, and I just want you to be able to feel less overwhelmed by what you're going through. I want you feel like you're going to be able to keep yourself safe tonight, yeah? Even once we've logged off 💜

Adventures in Jett fussiness ahaha. I'm so glad my cats aren't too fussy omg 😅

[Captain24]

If you postpone it it will be hanging over your head and you will still have to do it  @Jynx Use the adhd to your advantage.. a last minute run to the end! Remember you can achieve a lot in a small amount of time when a deadline looms. 

Sorry.. I tried to do things right. 

Im trying to self talk my way through it all. The icy pole is helping me a little bit with the dysregulation. See this is the confusing part, I feel like this but I’m wide awake, irritable and energised on the inside. I can’t see sleep happening soon. I do lay in bed though just incase I nod off. It’s two completely different sides of the coin. I think I’m safe it’s just hard. 

He is painful! He isn’t a big eater either. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 hmmm I will see how I go wrangling help from friends haha

I know hun and we see that. It's not personal, I promise. It's just how we apply the same guidelines to all members. But we see you trying. 

Bed sounds like a safe place to spend the evening - our brains associate them with sleeping so sleep is just more likely in general if you're already there. 

Do you have like a 'happy place' mentally? Down at the beach with the dogs maybe? Or you could be like me and build a whole fantasy world to hang out in when I need to not be thinking about stuff that's stressing me. 

In any case, I have faith in you to weather this storm. Keep your little fur babies close, and those crisis numbers handy yeah? 

Is Jett secretly a cat? Hahaha 😝

Night hun, sending hugs and soothing vibes

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

[Captain24]

I’m glad you can see I’m trying. I’m actually that not ok that I didn’t even take it personally. That’s saying something @Jynx 

I just climbed into bed. I’m hoping sleep finds me soon and not at 1:30 in the morning when I have to get up at 4:30 like this morning. 

I guess my happy place is the beach that Pix loves and gets in the water. She always looks so happy. I don’t have an imagination to think up anything.. imagination and artistic missed me completely. Plus I guess not seeing pictures doesn’t help. I can’t actually picture the beach I have to try and find memories. It’s weird and hard to explain. 

My babies are on the bed with me. 

Im sure Jett is half cat. He likes to climb and be up high, plus he can jump really high! He is also very light on his feet.