I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I’m going out of my mind @Jynx. It’s driving me crazy. It’s affecting my breathing. I need to hurt to get it out. I need pain

Believe it or not I can’t actually scream!

I hope you can form that habit. It’s hard to do. I’d have dishes for days to without a dishwasher. 

I get the needing to sort stuff out to sort stuff out! I need to work out where to put all the shit in that room. There’s lots of crafty stuff too. I don’t even know what I have. 

[Captain24]

I’m really not ok @Jynx 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 deeeeep breaths, take some moments to just focus on your breath. What do you think you're needing right now? 

Let me know if you're worried about your safety hun 💜

[Captain24]

I don’t know what I need @Jynx.

TW: Self-harm

Content/trigger warning

I just need to hurt. Need to feel pain. Need the agitation to stop. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I can imagine it might feel like that is the only solution right now. That's okay, we know that being outside our window of tolerance can give us intense tunnel-vision. 

Maybe take a poke at this and see if there's anything helpful in there?

Hugs, big warm squishy ones! 🫂🫂

[Captain24]

They’re all the reasons @Jynx. I feel

like I'm too far past it. I’ve tried the ice and it doesn’t work. Pen doesn’t work. Elastic bands don’t work. They all just make me more aggravated.

Im sorry 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 You've nothing to be sorry for hun. Side note: I don't recall a single moment of all our interactions on here where I have felt like your apology was needed. But I digress....Hmm is bed an option? Like taking your prn and hopping into bed might tell your brain it's time for low energy? 

I know it may seem like an inevitability, but nothing is set in stone. And no matter how you go, survival is survival ok? No shame in it. 

[Captain24]

I took my meds 2 hours ago. @Jynx. They aren’t working. I’m pacing. I’ll take a prn. My hospital Pdoc doesn’t like me using them but she has left anyway. 

You know that feeling of restless legs.. that’s what my whole body feels like. 

[Snowie]

Hey @Captain24 @Jynx 

Going to butt in here.

Have you heard of this website

My Sensory Store

They have a category called Harm Minimisation Tools. I have brought quite a few of their things. They are good with giving you an 'ouch' without harming yourself.

No they don't always help, but have stopped me from harming myself quite a number of times.

I also find them helpful when my anxiety is high.

Anyway, I hope both of your evenings go ok.

One of them is called Spikeyring with Dual pads - 'Ouch' without Harm & Picking Supports.

[Captain24]

I have been on there and got a few things @Snowie but haven’t seen that category. I will have a look. 
Thanks