I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Nan was near the end of her dementia battle so she had no idea. Her husband was devastated though as he went to the nursing home everyday to see her. He didn’t know what to do with himself @tyme 

I can’t Telehealth a GP appointment but I Telehealth all my other supports as none of them are here. I wouldn’t be able to access any support if it wasn’t for Telehealth. 

I just booked the annual leave for my hospital stay in August. 

Im trying but just don’t always get it and Im scared of getting into trouble again. 

Yeah I haven’t even wanted to talk to anyone. It’s really annoying when mum rings. I don’t think I could hold a conversation very long. Im hardly even talking to my dogs. I usually chat to them all the time! Just saying stupid shit. 

I have another funny Jett story. He was on my bed and was looking down the hall and growling and letting out a little bark. He does that when he is scared. I

look down the hallway and there is something laying on the middle. So he got brave enough to slowly, and I mean slowly, started to walk towards it still growling. He got close to it and then would back track. He finally got near it and it was actually his humping teddy! He’s an idiot! 😂 😂 😂 

[tyme]

Yes! Thank God for telehealth @Captain24 - I agree. So glad you can see them via telehealth. I wanted to see a psych via telehealth, but they refused, so I need to find another. 

@Captain24 , August seems soooooo far again. Then again, it's March already! So you've still gotta hang in there for a few more months. Will it be for 2 weeks or more? I know last time you only 'just' made it, and it ended up being a crisis admission sort of thing - to stay safe. Hope it will be a therapeutic stay this time.

As for Jett, it reminds me of Ruby. Ruby does that bark, but at windows and glass doors. Is it because they are scared?

Also, you may be able to shed some light on this. When I'm walking Ruby, from far far away, there are people Ruby barks/growls at (usually men in hoodies), and then there are people she wants to dart off and see. How does she know the difference from so far? Is it scent?

And Jett's 'humping' teddy? Is that a teddy he humps? I think Ruby was doing that a few times with this teddy, but I haven't seen her do it in a long time.

[Captain24]

I think I’m the only one my psych sees by Telehealth. She didn’t know how to do it the first appointment @tyme. I hope you can find one. It’s so easy to stay at home and do it. My Pdoc only does Telehealth. I do like to see my psych in person occasionally though.

It’s for 3 weeks. I said to my psych that I want to be in a better place when I go in this time to get the most out of the course. She told me that she will make sure that I am. 

Yeah last August I didn’t think I was well enough to go. But then they kept me in an extra 2 weeks. 

The window and glass doors is because she can see herself! She doesn’t know that it is her though. 

She may not like hoodies or males. Pix and Jett aren’t fans of hats! Pix is the worse she will growl and cower if someone with a hat or hood on comes near her especially if they are male!

They have a good sense of character. They usually run towards dog people. There sense of smell is amazing and can sense further than you think. It’s good they she is friendly with some people Pix isn’t. Jett is though usually after he has bitten them!

Boy dogs often hump and usually they jump anything. Jett started with it being anything and I just calmly said ‘No Jett’ and he would stop. Then he started on this one teddy so I let it happen. Now the only thing that he jumps is that teddy. I know someone with a male dog that jumps anything and everything anywhere he goes. Jett doesn’t do that. 

Pix has humped on occasion but for her it’s excitement. I just ignored it and she didn’t do it much and as she got older she hasn’t done it. So Ruby could just be the way she gets the uncontrollable excitement out. 

[tyme]

Yeah, Ruby was humping on the kids, but i haven't seen her do it in a long time @Captain24 . 

And yes, the glass doors and windows is defo her reflection that she is barking at and that's why we shut the blinds. Or she'll keep barking. I think she barks at mirrors too and gets a shock. 

I'm still waiting for the day Ruby will learn to fetch a ball and bring it back. I need to do some training with her. I haven't really spent time training her. It's getting darker earlier now, so we have less time to go for walks. 

And, I gotta say, i'm still going to check out why Ruby barks at certain people but not others. It's not only hooded people.

Hopefully by being 1 today, Ruby will have grown a brain... 

Whatcha doing tomorrow?

[Captain24]

Neither of mine play fetch. I tried to teach Jett but he doesn’t get it. I never tried with Pix because it was Honeys thing she use to play fetch. It didn’t matter what toys she had it was always the ball. @tyme I have the last ball she played with near her ashes. She did have on teddy that she use to sleep with and would lay with, it’s there with her ashes too. 

Jett got a little less naughty but he is still full on. Honestly he has settled a little. He does listen a little more. 

Im working tomorrow and Tuesday day shifts the Wednesday and Thursday night shifts. 

I forgot to get fuel so I hope I remember in the morning! See what happens. 

I’m really going to concentrate on my driving both on the road and at work. It’s really important for my safety and the safety of others. 

Im actually feeling quite sick at the moment. 

[tyme]

I saw these new self-bouncy balls that Ruby might like @Captain24 You charge them and they bounce/vibrate themselves.

Lol that only honey knows how to play fetch. Are the dogs these days getting duller and duller? I sure hope Ruby settles a bit. She's not bad, but maybe just excited when she sees other people or dogs.

Oh, you're working the next 2 days! Please drive safely. 

I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Anything I can do?

[Captain24]

I never even taught Honey how to do it. She just did it. If I was crying she would rush to get her ball so I would play with her. I think cause she got so much enjoyment out of it she thought I did too. She was an amazing little thing. @tyme 

Jett would love them. He has just been chasing crickets. I have about 5 in my house that have ‘stopped playing’ 

Im telling myself that I can do it and not listen to the voices. I did say I wanted to change. 

Im going to go to bed, I really feel awful. 

Thanks for chatting with me tonight. I hope you start to feel better soon. I’ll talk to you Friday. 

[tyme]

Lol. The crickets 'stopped playing' @Captain24 . Sounds like Jett will always be your baby... not sure he will grow up.

I'm wrapping up now too. I'm tired. Going to rest up and I'll let you know how things go.

I'll see you when I see you next. 

Please take care and if you need to speak to someone, please reach out!