I can’t cope

[Captain24]

He is my best friends cousin so we have mutual friends @tyme. Yeah mostly I have it buried away but this brought it all back up. 

I never went to the police because it was my own fault. 

I’ve got no suggestions sorry. I wish I could help with the pain though. My amazing pop had shingles on his spine and he was in hospital really sick. 

Oh and to top it all off. Pix is really sick with bad diarrhoea, I’ve had to wash her bum 8 times so far today. 

How is everything else going for you? 

[tyme]

I just want to make space if you ever want to talk about it, but I don't want to push you either. Just let me know if you ever want to talk @Captain24 

As for Pix, what's happened? Is that something that always happens? Do chihuahuas have sensitive stomachs? My sis said that cavoodles have sensitive stomachs.

It's been raining most of the day, so Ruby only got one walk today. She must be edging to go out. 

The pain for your pop sounds so intense! Ouch! Supposedly shingles affects those who are stress out/worn down, elderly, and immuno surpressed...  

[Captain24]

T/W SA

Can you put a trigger box @tyme 

TW: Sexual Assault

Content/trigger warning

I was out at the pub and met him. He seemed nice and was her cousin so I thought it would be fine. We got home and we’re having fun but it took a turn to become way to rough. I said to stop but he kept going. See… my fault. 

Im now back in that space. Remembering what was buried. 

I gave Pix and Jett a new treat last night. Jett didn’t eat it but Pix did. She has a very sensitive stomach. Jett isn’t really that bad. He seems to cope better. 

If she is still sick tomorrow I’ll have to take her to the vet. I’ve medicated her the best I can. She smells so bad. 

Rain sounds nice. Poor Ruby. I was hoping for a storm tonight. I needed it for my mood but there is no rain for ages. 

So it was all the stress you were under?  Has that settled down? 

[tyme]

I do not see that as your fault @Captain24 . It may be worth speaking to a psych you trust to see if they think it should be reported as a way for you to move on.

Poor Pix. I hope she feels better soon. Seeing she is long-haired, I can see why you need to wash her bum so many times! It would probably feel like it's burning for her too. 

As for all the stress I was under, that was most likely the cause of the shingles. I knew my body was under intense stress that it would normally buckly under, but because I was really focusing on my mental health, I worked on my thinking so it didn't seem such a huge issue - when it really was. So my body caught up and told me so.

[Captain24]

She doesn’t even know about it @tyme. He is married with kids now. He did tell his sister what happened and she said he was sorry. I guess he knew it was wrong. I don’t want to cause a problem. 

She looks really sick. She has just been out again and needs to be washed again. Yeah the long hair doesn’t help. Her hair on her back end hits the ground. It’s getting everywhere. She even had it on her feet. I’ve given her a dried weetbix to see if it’ll clog her up a little.

Im so sorry you have had to go through so much. It’s been a hell of a ride for you. I hope it’ll all get better for you soon. I’m here with you though

[tyme]

If you feel you can settle with it now, let it be. But if you feel you need to do something about the incident, please do so. It's for you. It's not about 'causing trouble' @Captain24 

Poor Pix. I hope she doesn't need emergency treatment. She sounds so so unwell. Totally not what you need right now. For Ruby, I make sure I shave the hair around her bum so she doesn't get wee and poo on the hair. Otherwise she will stink too. Can you do that with chihuahuas?

Anyway, I'm hopping off now. Going to rest up now. 

Hope you get rest too.

[Captain24]

Yeah. I definitely don’t need a seriously sick dog. @tyme. She doesn’t get groomed. It’d look really weird. 

I hope you get some rest over the next few days. I’ll talk to you after work on Wednesday 

[tyme]

Hugs @Captain24 .

See you mid week. Hang on, I might be on leave. I'll let you know once I confirm it. I've forgotten the days I've put in for leave (because I HAVE to, and not because I want to lol)

I'll tag you and let you know later this week.

[Captain24]

Thank you @tyme. I’ll see you when I see you