I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I’ve taken my meds so I’m hoping they kick in soon @tyme Ive notice though that since I’ve dropped my munchie med by a quarter its slowing how quick I get tired. I have a med that I’m suppose to add when the munchie doesn’t work anymore but right now I feel like I’m going through too many changes to add another one. 

I’m hoping that I can keep the mask so strong tomorrow. It’s 8 - 2 so it’s only half a day. 

I’ve just had a dog fight over the top of me. Man they have the shits with each other. They were fighting over a treat but Pix doesn’t even chew on that one! 

How’s the prep going for going away? 

[tyme]

At least it's only half day tomorrow. Hope it goes okay. @Captain24 If it's too much, take a break - it's not a sign of weakness.

I've had more than a dog fight. I've had enough of my niece and I was pretty livid. I've packed her things and left them outside my door so she doesn't come over tonight. It hurts to do this, but i'm so done with her. So that's my dog fight lol.

As for the prep? I wrote down some notes last night and sent them off to a graphics team to put it together. Hopefully I get a draft in a few days... then again, I'm leaving in a few days lol.

I'm not stressed or anything though. Not anxious... pretty chill.

[Captain24]

Yeah half day but it’s the hard half. @tyme. @Bow suggested having a quick chat to him so I might do that. 

Oh that must be hard. It’ll let her know that you mean business though. She has been pushing your boundaries a lot lately. Are you ok? 

Im glad you have done something. It eases my anxiety a little! 😜 

My anxiety is sky high at the moment. My psych is concerned as she hasn’t seen me so bad but as she said she has only been seeing me privately since October. 

I love how you are so easy going about it all. 

[tyme]

That's a great suggestion @Bow has made. Hope you can get in early and let him know. It will ease you and make it more comfortable for you too I reckon.

As for my niece, she has been pushing boundaries. I'm concerned about her because she lacks emotional resilience and when she is upset, she can NEVER admit she is wrong. That's the hard part. My nephew tonight used a golf stick and hit the door and the handle fell off. He immediately said sorry and even took all his pocket money (coins) out to say he'd pay for the broken door. My niece on the oterh hand, would blame the door that it was old or stupid... 

It's so so hard. It makes me more grateful not to have my own kids. @Captain24 

Is your anxiety still phobia related? How have you been managing with your homework tasks?

And yes, I'm no where near ready, but I'm getting there will preparations for going away. I need to get all my docs sorted and printed!

[Captain24]

I will try @tyme. I’m not very good at that kinda thing but the seed has some planted

She sounds so difficult to deal with. Hopefully she grows out of it and settles down for you all. How does her parents cope with her. Your nephew sounds like a little cutie! 

I feel so guilty that I never gave mum a grandchild but at the same time I’m glad I’m child free. 

My severe anxiety my psych thinks could be from the increase and AD. I have to give it a couple of days and if it doesn’t calm down I have to make a Pdoc appointment. 

The snake phobia isn’t helping. There is so much I can’t do. Apparently the snakes are looking for warm spots right now. I guy at work apparently got bitten by a brown snake. It had hidden its self in a motor of a pump. 

I’ve been trying. I have written out the snake experience a few times. I have looked at cartoon snakes but some are really triggering. It’s really hard. 

I didn’t think you’d be sorted. 😝 Do you ever worry that you’ll forget something? 

[tyme]

Oh hun @Captain24 . Go slow with the expoure therapy. You don't want it to cause more harm than good. If cartoon snakes don't work, leave it for now. 

As for my niece, I really think she'll have a lot of issues when she's older. She is very very mature in a lot of things, but emotionally, she really struggles. It's strange to say, but in a way, she's the person who is closest to me (honestly). She's 9 years old, but I share more with her than anyone else - even though it's not much I share. 

I really don't know how to help her. She's very sensitive and goes into fighting defence mode if she is threatened in any way. He tongue is so sharp though, and it really hurts me. 

Today, I could honestly feel my blood pressure spike. So much so, I had a massive headache after telling her to leave. I've always had low blood pressure, but since living next to them, I now have high blood pressure. Last week, the doc even told me to buy a blood pressure machine... geezz.. I'm not even 40 yet.

Oh, and with going away these are the things that I may freak if I forget:

1) meds

2) passport

3) my laptop - maybe?

And maybe that's it... life too short to have to worry about other stuff. 

I can work around forgetting the other stuff.

And yes, who knows, maybe your anxiety is med-related. Acutally, what exactly do you feel when you are anxious?

[Captain24]

I’ve just walked out of the session. I’m trying to regulate myself enough to go back in. 

[Ru-bee]

Glad you were able to recognise that you needed to step out @Captain24 

Take your time, I'm here with you

[Captain24]

I just pumped a few cigarettes in me and had a coke @Ru-bee. My breathing is settling. It’s lunch time right now so hopefully this afternoons sessions is easier. 

[Ru-bee]

Oh that's good, gives you a bit more time to regulate too, before getting back into it @Captain24 

I hope the arvo's a bit easier too but at least you know you can step away again if you need to