Lived Experience Forum

[meraki05]

Hello I’m new here!  And I guess I would just like to chat to people who are going through similar things. I guess it just makes you feel better talking to people who have something in common, in this case I have anxiety and feel like I might have depression atm too. Sadly I lost my father 3 years ago he lost to cancer, he was only 58. I am grateful to have a lovely family and we support each other but I just feel like now we all deal with it in our own ways. And for me I feel like I’m not really dealing with it. Even after three years I feel like it has gotten harder not having him here. Since he passed I got married and had my first child she is now 13 months old. There are also other factors which I think relate to my anxiety. But I will leave it at that for now and hopefully can chat to someone going through something similar. To describe my anxiety in the best way would be that out of no where I just get random racing thoughts of something bad happening and I feel a tightness in my chest which freaks me out and then I notice my breathing and try to slow it down. I always get thoughts like if if keep doing this I will make my self sick like my dad and I can’t stop these thoughts. And I feel like I’m going insane if I don’t stop. I feel exhausted after this happens and I even have troubles sleeping at night with racing thoughts. 

[tyme]

Hey @meraki05 ,

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Grief takes all forms. Some can become extroverts, while others become introverts. 

It is important to talk about this grief and work through it. Have you ever contacted Griefline? https://griefline.org.au/

I'm sure many can relate to your feelings of anxiety - tightness of chest, rapid breathing. It can also be a sign of a panic attack. Seeing these feelings have been for 3 years, it may be good to speak to your GP if you haven't already.

Allow yourself to heal. Allow yourself to be supported. Allow yourself to live and be the mother you want to be.

Please know we are here to support you and that you are not alone.

[tyme]

Hey @meraki05 ,

I've also sent you an email - if you could respond it'll be great.

[Krishna]

Hi @meraki05  Welcome 🙏 Losing your dad with him at such a young age would be so difficult for you to accept. My sister passed from cancer a few years ago also only 59 so I feel your loss. Marriage and your first baby are major life events for you which sadly your dad wasn’t here physically to witness and no doubt that would play on your mind. Gosh my parents have been gone for over 20 years and there’s still things in life I wish I could share with them. There’s no time limit to dealing with grief so please don’t compare your feelings with how others are dealing with it. I also suffer from anxiety and have for many years but of late it seems to have intensified. I’ve just turned 60 which has sort of spun me out a bit as life seems to have gone by so quickly. So many years struggling with anxiety, days wasted, opportunities missed. Please if you haven’t already, speak to your GP about your anxiety and perhaps organise for a mental health care plan to speak to a counsellor or psychologist about how you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing. Meanwhile focus on that calming breath, gentle exercise like a walk, a glass of cold water or even an ice pack on the back of your neck. Anything to shift your attention from your thoughts. Where attention goes energy flows so the more you pay attention to these thoughts, the more persistent they become. I also like to say out loud, “not happening now” and forcing a smile. Anything to calm your nervous system. I hope my words have helped a little and know you’re not alone with this. You have reached out to a great community 🙏🌹

[tyme]

Hugs @Krishna , thanks for sharing. Always appreciated.

[tyme]

Hi there @meraki05 ,

How are you going today?