Re: Trying makes it worse

EternalFlower · ‎05-04-2022

Thanks maddison....for support ....hospital has been not extremely helpful

I wanted to stay longer but the Dr said because I have a complex personality disorder and cptsd he prefers short stays for me, I don't fully understand it, but he's right. After a few days I feel like I need to leave. The truth is I just don't want to go home, I feel not so safe there now.

My Dr really triggered me yesterday, he said I've had an unlucky life and it somehow made me feel so sad.

I felt so overwhelmed and scared with all the memories of different traumas, it's hard to be OK with my situation.

I've not been able to see any silver lining, just a series of awful occurrences.

Former-Member · ‎05-04-2022

Hey @EternalFlower

It sounds like you have been through so much ❤️ It's so understandable to be feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable after your admission and interaction with your doctor, it sounds like it has brought up a lot.

If you feel it might be helpful, please feel welcome to reach out to one of our counsellors on the phone (1800 18 7263) or on webchat to help you process or even just sit with you in the overwhelm for a moment. Our support services are available 10am - 10pm, Monday - Friday.

Warmest,

Basil

maddison · ‎05-04-2022

Hi @EternalFlower

Thanks for sharing & updating about your hospital experience.

It sounds as though things are particularly difficult for you at the moment. I am sorry to hear that.

I am interested to know why you don't feel safe at home. Is it the transition that makes you feel nervous? (You don't have to answer)

I think I would feel very sad too if a Dr had said something like that to me. I wonder what his intention was to say that to you? Could you ask him? Would that help? I want to remind you too that you are the expert on you.

I don't really know what to say to you. I get that some days there are no silver linings - when I feel like this I try to tell myself 'this too will pass'.

Thanks for reply. I hope you feel better soon🌼🌻🏵️

maddison · ‎05-04-2022

@EternalFlower

P.S I'm going to check in with you tomorrow.

If you want to chat sooner, message me.

NatureLover · ‎06-04-2022

@EternalFlower wrote:
My Dr really triggered me yesterday, he said I've had an unlucky life and it somehow made me feel so sad.
I felt so overwhelmed and scared with all the memories of different traumas, it's hard to be OK with my situation.
I've not been able to see any silver lining, just a series of awful occurrences.

I'm so sorry he said that - that seems particularly unhelpful! Can you tell him that it triggered you and that you're now having to battle with the results of that?

@EternalFlower

maddison · ‎06-04-2022

Hi @EternalFlower

Wanted to reach out & say hello🌻

You are doing amazing job sharing your story. 👍👍

EternalFlower · ‎07-04-2022

Hi @NatureLover ... how are u?

It really bummed me out and I had a nice nurse help me reflect on it. The Dr came today and I was kinda over it but pushed myself and we talked about it.

He first was defensive "that's how it seemed to me," but very quickly changed and listened and was open.

He said I made awesome points and he can see how it made me feel powerless

He wants to talk to me more about it next session. I think it's really important that I spoke up, thank you x

EternalFlower · ‎07-04-2022

Hi @maddison how are u today?

I didn't realise how dark my thoughts had been, I don't want to trigger ppl....but good to be able to write here

I haven't found hospital amazing but I like having a change and reset.

My Dr feels safe for me now which is a huge change...I like him, I think he's good. Two residents I hospital hugged me...and inrealise I haven't had a hug in...well..forever.

In very 2022 mode both asked my permission, first.

I'm finding that holding precious possessions has helped me here, things from home

NatureLover · ‎08-04-2022

@EternalFlower wrote:
He first was defensive "that's how it seemed to me," but very quickly changed and listened and was open.
He said I made awesome points and he can see how it made me feel powerless
He wants to talk to me more about it next session. I think it's really important that I spoke up, thank you x

Am happy to hear this @EternalFlower 🙂

maddison · ‎08-04-2022

Hi @EternalFlower

I'm happy to read your message.

Sounds like you are making some progress with your Dr. It's great that you are feeling safe & it doesn't matter if these feelings fluctuate in the future. I'm thinking that addressing your concerns re: feeling triggered about 'unlucky life' statement was a really positive step.

I'm learning that bringing 'dark' things into the 'light' can be great strategy & you have reminded me💜

Hugs really are the best.. Of course you need to feel safe & it was important that residents asked your permission first. I'm so appreciative of a hug too!

So nice to hear that you can hold some precious items & they bring you sense of calm & inner peace.

I'm halfway through movie at the moment. It is called 9 days. I don't know what I think of it yet. It's quite strange storyline about a man trying to choose souls to come to earth.

Anyway, thanks for sharing again🙂

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