Protecting child from parent mh problems

[Chilliheeler]

I think my ex partner is having a mental health episode - we broke up a week ago, and I haven't seen or talked with him since then, just messaged about the kids. Lots of flags in his messages.

I'm concerned about how he is going to go solo parenting with our sons (14 and 5yrs, asd) after not seeing them for longer than a week. The little one has some really challenging behaviours.

I don't want to bad mouth him to the kids. But at same time I want them to be equipped to get help if dad loses it or is behaving weird. My big kid has a phone and can call anyone, but my little one is pretty vulnerable. He told me he feels scared when dad gets angry, and he doesn't know how to get help. I encouraged him to go to his brother and to tell his safe people as soon as he sees them. Any other ideas? Books or resources for both?

[AuntGlow]

Hello @Chilliheeler, 

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. 💛

This sounds so incredibly challenging and I can only imagine how concerned you are about your children.  

You are being really proactive here to ensure that they are supported and I can hear you are wanting them to feel safe and connected to dad. I think letting them know that Kids Helpline is available 24/7 for calls or messages would be helpful: https://kidshelpline.com.au/

Let them know they can always call 000 if things feel really unsafe as well... 

Maybe organising a school counsellor/support system could be helpful for them to have someone to talk to? They can be engaged with checking in on things like emotional, mental, and physical safety. 

I am also wondering if there's the option to talk with your ex-partner about what's going on? It sounds like he may need more support to manage his own emotions right now, so even recommending a helpline like Dads In Distress could be helpful? https://www.parentsbeyondbreakup.com/dids

And lastly, what support do you need right now? Do you have any people you can turn to during this time? Will be here to chat when you're ready - Aunt Glow. 🥰✨