Lived Experience Forum

[Sahara]

Thanks @NikNik and @TAB

@TAB, I can so relate to you being 'shut down' by your siblings- this happens to me a lot... It feels like the worst kind of rejection when it happens. I can't handle that feeling of being rejected. I always felt that way in my family.... With different issues, my opinion wasn't valued. It's very hurtful.

I don't worry too much about their being any fallout from what we all went through regarding Dads dying.... Because we never really talk about stuff, anyway. I'm sure my Sis will go straight back to work, and act like nothing has happened! She is a workaholic.

My Bro never calls me anyway.

its lonely for me not having them to talk to, but at least I have my husband. 

I had a god cry last night and tried not to drink too much. 😔

[TAB]

Wow thats so similar! @Sahara was close to my sister but she cut me off about 7 yeaars ago pretty much no contact. That wasn't enough so shes been undermining me for last few years. Yet she can be all nice to my face re mums funeral a year ago
She discusses me with rest of family apparently , not in any flattering way. Anyway cant think about that and yes will lose contact completely after father goes. Its life. Good you had a cry and a drink 😎

[Sahara]

@TAB,

oh yes, I can relate. No doubt my Bro and my Sis discuss me behind my back... I couldn't care less and I doubt they would have anything accurate to say... they are both emotionally repressed people - they do not think deeply about stuff so no doubt their conversations are very boring!!

Who cares!

I'm sorry if you are estranged from your sis, @TAB, or have been in the past. I guess it might be worth reaching out to her sometimes for the sake of harmony or to keep the peace or whatever. It's hard to know what to do.

I wonder if I will see much of my Bro and Sis after the funeral? I really don't know. My Sis and I used to be really close, but then I got married and she became a workaholic. We still try and see each other. We still love each other. 

I love my Bro, too. He might improve his personality now that Dad isgone and there is one less person to argue with, who knows?

[TAB]

Yes will see re 'fallout' re siblings here @Sahara ..I think everyone is on different paths and stuck in ways re age etc and different life circumstances. I guess we all mean well in our own ways, just not the way it seems a lot of the time. Hopefully things go well with your siblings 😀

[Sahara]

Hi @TAB, @Former-Member, @MoonGal, @Phoenix_Rising,

we had Dad's funeral this morning... it went well, as far as funerals go. One thing I noticed is that I was way more in control of my emotions and way less sad, overall, than when my Mum died. I'm not sure why this was, but anyway, I don't feel too bad, just very tired.

I did get a call from the social worker who worked with my Dad's hospice team later on in the day, which was good. Somehow I assumed that they (the hospice people) would just forget all about me, so it was nice to get the call.

I got to talk about the chaos surrounding Dad's release from hospital and the subsequent emergency re-admission via ambulance and our family's discord and disagreements. It felt good to talk about it-  I started crying a few times during the conversation, which for me is always a good sign, as it means that I'm in touch with how I really feel. 

I used to believe that being able to successfully repress all my tears was a triumph, but I no longer believe this to be true. I think it's good to cry.... it's a good release.

The social worker is going to call me back in a fortnight. I look forward to her call. She didn't really get me to think about anything in a new way. It was just nice to have some objective to listen to me. I am comming to terms with things. 

[TAB]

That sounds good @Sahara . Its a process and sounds like you're doing well

[MoonGal]

💜 Thinking of you @Sahara. You seem to be in a good space with it all. 

There is a Jewish Proverb 

"Tears are to the soul, what soap is to the body."


Glad you can cry, feel your feelings, that is a triumph.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Sahara,

Hopefully you are either asleep or doing something really nice for yourself right now after this very difficult day. I'm so pleased the social worker called you. 

I am a strong believer that when it comes to tears, it's a matter of better out than in. Crying is extremely healthy you know!

[Owlunar]

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@Saharawrote:

Dear @MoonGal, @Owlunar, @Former-Member. @TAB.

my Dad passed away this afternoon. He really wanted to go. 

It was very sad, but at least he is at peace now. My husband is comming tomrrow, so that will be a relief. 

My siblings and I are getting a long. xxxx

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Hi @Sahara

I just read about your loss- I am so sorry but relieved in some ways - my father left quickly and I felt that was a blessing - of course things are different for everyone

My thoughts are with you and I will post again later

Dec

[MoonGal]

@Sahara - thinking of you. (hug)