Lived Experience Forum

[MillyMolly]

Just wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom to offer about having another baby after suffering from PND several years ago (only thinking about it at this atage). How did you approach it and did it all happen again? I have no idea what sort of healthcare options are even available to me. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

[-karma-]

Hello @MillyMolly

great to see you help seeking.

Thought as a start you might like to catch up with conversations started by @Bron1206 and @greeneyes81 here;

http://saneforums.org/t5/Our-experience-stories/Friendships-after-PND/m-p/21350/highlight/true#M2879

Feel free to ask them a question by using the @ symbol before their member name.

Also, one of our forum moderator agencies is @PANDA , a specific post natal depression service, who will shortly be in touch, to offer further support and answer questions 

Best wishes

[Appleblossom]

I hope you get the info you need. I did not think that PND was a life sentence.

regards

[PANDA]

Hi @MillyMolly

With planning and the support of family/friends and health professionals lots of people go on to have another baby after an episode of perinatal anxiety or depression. From a statistical perspective your chance of experiencing depression with future births is thought to be up to 40%. However, with understanding of your experience, including knowing when to get help and having a strong support network, the risk or severity can be reduced.

It is a good idea to seek advice and support from your doctor and consider all your options before becoming pregnant again. Ultimately, having another baby is something that only you can decide but there are a few tips other parents have shared:

• Give yourself time to recover emotionally. It can sometimes be difficult to notice when the time is right. A good indicator might be when you notice that you are enjoying parenthood and feeling engaged with your baby or children.
• Talk about having another baby with the important people in your life. While the decision is yours, you are likely to need their support.
• Talk to your GP or mental health professional about what you should consider when planning to have another baby. If you are on medication speak with a perinatal mental health professional about what is safe to continue through a pregnancy. Many people become unwell because they stop their medication without consulting a doctor, only to find there were other alternatives.
• Know the signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression and have some agreed ‘signs’ for when it’s time to seek help (these might be things like changes in sleep or increased irritability)
• Learn more about the experiences of other parents who have had, as well as those who have decided not to have, another child. You may come to different conclusions, but their stories can help you think through the decision for yourself. There are some stories on the PANDA website and maybe people on the forums can share their stories.

If you would like to talk about specific services that could help you please phone the PANDA Helpline, 10am - 5pm Monday to Friday.

All the best @MillyMolly

The PANDA Team x

[TassieMum]

@MillyMolly - hello 🙂 I am late to the party I know, but have only just joined and as someone who had PND after bub was born (now 2) I would love to know how you are going now and if you decided to have another baby? x 

[believeinme]

I have been trying to confusingly think about whether or not to have a second child. I would like to, but my reality is that my mental health had been horrible since the early months of my last pregnancy. It's such a cruel decision with time ticking and my mental health not improving and being mostly medication resistant.

[Princessmolly]

I too am struggling with this decision. Rationally i know i cant mentally handle another. Im suffering ongoing depression and anxiety but my husband and I always wanted 2. My son is so lonely and our family feels incomplete. Im planning on going to councelling to help with the decision

[Squirrel]

Hi @Princessmolly. I am a PANDA moderator and welcome to the Forum. it is so important to have forums like these to figure out a thing or two when it feels overwhelming. It is such a big decision at the very time struggling with MI depletes us of the capacity to make decisions. There is a lot of support and I wonder what you have found helpful so far? Have you been in touch with the counsellors at PANDA? They can help link you to your local Perinatal specific counsellors who can provide you with evidence based information, support and resources. Have you looked at the PANDA website for practical info and lived experience stories from other Mums who have struggled? We are here for you if you would like to talk to a counsellor over the phone and to help find a pathway toward making a decision that is right for you and your family. Readiness is so important when considering having another child and many people have gaps in between children. Having more time in between children can make it more manageable as one goes off to kinder or school there is more space to focus on just the one that is still at home. It sounds big what you are struggling with and you are not alone.

[TassieMum]

Hi @Squirrel , sorry to jump in! I was wondering how if there is some way I can find out details of counsellors/psychologists/people to talk to in my area? I am doing ok but certainly have my days and think it may be helpful to talk these feelings through with someone, as well as talk through our thoughts of another baby..? Just nervous as I will likely get emotional talking about it and dont want them to think I am crazy! Thank you x x

[Squirrel]

Hi @TassieMum in joining this conversation with @Princessmolly and @believeinme. Already we are not alone and have a little village of support. I don’t think you can talk about big life decisions that touch on your identity in the way motherhood does without it being emotional. Add in hormones, the tenderness of the heart and existing anxiety and or depression then emotions are inevitable. Sadness, grief, anger, tears, numbness and the full range of emotional responses are to be expected and in no way translates to being ‘crazy’. You are human however and trying to navigate complex responses and consideration of not only your own needs but that of your family. Well done for knowing and holding insight into just how significant a responsibility the decision is when children are involved.

PANDA is the national Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Helpline on 1300 726 306, 10-5pm AEST Mon-Fri. You can call for personalised resources & referrals for your area and can have support from the counsellors whilst you are waiting to link in with local health professionals. Give us a call and let the counsellor know you were on the SANE Forum and encouraged to call. Alternately you can take a look at our website www.panda.org.au. We hope to support you further and meanwhile rely on each other through this forum to know and share others experiences.