I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24 yeah, may not have come up in convo bewteen us before - he's got Parkinson's, so bloody awful. He's got heaps of support, but yeah it's a really debilitating disease, and my mum is away at the moment, hence why I went up to provide some extra support! 

Yep that's the one!! He's turning 9 (I think, lol) in November! He's such a good kid 😊 Poor thing has a meltdown whenever I leave though 😅

Oh noooo hahaha the one returning familiar face, and it's the annoying one! Ach well maybe this time will be different, and she'll be less annoying! We can't get along perfectly with everyone ay. 

So tomorrow is totally free/unstructured time eh? Do you have anything to do to keep the boredom at bay?

[Captain24]

Oh. Thats horrible @Jynx. It must be so hard to watch. You’re good to fly up and help out. Makes my dads look really mild. 

That awesome to have that bond. I use to have a bond with my niece. 

She is really nice and was excited to see me. It felt good to know someone. Just one of those people that you can’t be around all the time. 

I just had a Pdoc come and see me. She thought I was her patient but since my Pdoc isn’t in until Friday she has signed me off so as of 11am tomorrow I can go for a walk and unsupervised. At the moment I’m getting half hour checks. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 yeah it's pretty gnarly, gives me a lot of gratitude for my body, and that it can still do stuff. 

Did you and your niece drift apart?

Totally! Not one of 'your' people, and that's okay, but you're right about there being comfort in a familiar face ay 😊

Oh nice! I recall from last time there's like a forest nearby yeah, is that where you'll go for your walk? 

[Captain24]

At least you have gained appreciation out of it @Jynx. 

Yeah we drifted apart when her mother moved away and then my brother. I never hear from her. She didn’t even send me a message for Christmas or Easter. She wouldn’t know when my birthday is. 

Im so bored. I’m sitting out on the verandah and it’s raining. So there is no walk to the beach. Yes you’re right there is a forest behind here but it’s too wet in there too. 

I have no idea what to do for the day. Maybe I could just sleep. I’ve already done some online shopping and it’s not even morning tea time yet. 

[Snowie]

@Captain24 I hope it all goes well for you and you get a lot out of it

💗💗

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Captain24 just wanted to pop by and see how the day is progressing for you?

[Captain24]

I’m so pissed off. @Ru-bee I’m still a CAT 3 so I’m not allowed to go out. I am trapped in here with nothing. I just want to be free to walk. I need to get out. I hate it. I wish I hadn’t come back. What have I done. I chose to be here why can’t I get out for an hour. My Pdoc isn’t in so I don’t know when I’m free. I’m locked up. I wish I had have stayed home. 

[Captain24]

I hope so too @Snowie. It’s not looking promising.

Hope you are as ok as possible right now

[Ru-bee]

Yeah, @Captain24 that would be upsetting to have that autonomy taken away. Do you know when your Pdoc will be in next? 

Thinking of your last time here, do the first few days tend to be a bit more difficult?

While you're waiting until your Pdoc is in to talk to about being able to go on walks, what are some things you might be able to do today to help you through? Are there any crafty things you can do? I know you mentioned maybe having a sleep, perhaps today could be a big rest day. You had to do so much before coming here it might be nice to give yourself that time to rest.

[Captain24]

The afternoon nurse is going to try and follow up with my doctor @Ru-bee. But by the time she does that it’s too late anyway. It’s overcast so it’ll be dark early. 

I did struggle badly last time but I made friends instantly and I smoked so I had that. This time I do know a couple of people but they are free to go out so they have gone. It’s just me that’s locked up. 

I have had a sleep. If I sleep anymore I won’t be able to sleep tonight. But I guess it’s all I can really do.

Im not ok. Im really not ok