I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I certainly found a good one @Ru-bee. 

Now to get everything done ready for tomorrow. I’m hoping to get some free time this afternoon. But I’ve lost the motivation that I’ve had for the last few days. Not a good time to give up. 

Do you have anything planned for tomorrow? If you celebrate Christmas? 

[Ru-bee]

Just remember to take it one thing at a time @Captain24 you've been doing lots over the last few days so it's understandable that you'd be running a little low on motivation today

I'm going over to my partner's parents house for lunch tomorrow. It should be nice, but it's over the other side of town so it's always lots of driving and I get so tired by the end of it I just wish I could teleport back home.

[Captain24]

I’m trying to focus on one thing. @Ru-bee. 

I have to make the stuffed tomatoes then everything else is just cleaning. I haven’t cleaned for 2 weeks so it’s a bit daunting. 

Going over there sounds nice. Sometimes I wish I could go somewhere. Less stuff to do! I can imagine that it’s tiring having to travel especially after a big meal. Do you spend the night at home? 

[Ru-bee]

Ooh stuffed tomatoes sounds tasty @Captain24!

Yes it's nice to go somewhere and then be able to retreat back home afterwards, I do go home for the night back to the cats 😺 I'll probably just plonk myself in front of the TV tomorrow evening and watch a movie. Then I'll be doing it all again the next day to see my family.  

[Captain24]

They are so good @Ru-bee. It’s something that is always left for Christmas. 

Sitting and chilling sounds like an awesome idea. I’m hoping everyone leaves my house by about 8. That would be nice. 

Oh.. hectic that you have to do it all again! Is your families place closer? 

It’s nice to see families getting together. We don’t, it’s just mum dad and myself. An aunty will come around for dinner and maybe an uncle, depending on if he has been drinking or not. 

The rest of our family just don’t see each other. It’s been like that since my grand parents passed away. At least there is no Christmas presents to buy though!! 

[Captain24]

I’m really starting to struggle. 

Im not sure if it’s all the talk of my brother, whether it’s the through of tomorrow or whether I’m just useless. 

The world feels pretty dark right now. 

I promised to throw certain things out. But I haven’t done it. I feel guilt and shame but I haven’t done it. I’m not sure that I can. 

Im a failure

[Ru-bee]

Would talking about something else help @Captain24? 

It's okay to run out of steam, you can't bully yourself into having energy. Is there something small that you can start on now and just do that task and see how you feel after? It's okay if you need to rest 

[Captain24]

I just went to sleep @Ru-bee. That’s not the smartest discussion I have made. Now it’s all still waiting for me. 

It was pretty stupid. I’m regretting it. I hate that I did it but I just couldn’t face it anymore. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey, that's okay @Captain24 

Just focus on the first task you need to do, it can be a small one or a big one, just one you feel able to start. Hopefully that sleep will have helped you feel a bit refreshed to get things done now? Or at least given you a bit of a break

[Ru-bee]

I'm heading off soon @Captain24 but I hope that you're able to be gentle with yourself. 

I'll catch up with you in the new year and I'll be thinking about you and all of the forums community tomorrow 💜