I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I remember dancing to those at the pubs when they first came out @Jynx 

I feel really sick. Like I’m going to vomit. I did feel the same way the night that I saw the snake. This thing is ruling my life. It’s always there. I’m sure you must be like ‘just get over it’

While you have kept me amused! And I loved it. I’m still quite distressed just not as bad. 

The unsafe feeling is really unsettling. But I guess with meds on board I should go to sleep soon. 

Yeah.. I’m around until Friday so I’ll totes cya tomozz 

Have a good night. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 haha you got about a decade on me don't ya hun? I was doin em at my high school discos!! LOL

Nah not at ALL. My sister has snake phobia, I've seen it. I know how intense it is. You'll cop nothing but understanding from me. It's flared up real bad of late, that just means you need more support, probably helps to be able to talk about it no? Especially cos it would be taking up so much of your emotional bandwidth hey. 

Till then!! Niiight 🫂🫂

[Captain24]

I’m in my late 40’s @Jynx 

It’s taking up most of the space in my brain. I can’t let it go. The fear is intense. It’s like is has consumed me. It has pushed away my other thoughts though. Id much rather the others I think. I feel like a broken record l. While talking about it has my distress levels high not talking about it sends them higher. If any of that makes sense. I feel like I’m in a permanent place of distress. 

[Jynx]

Soooo did you wanna talk about it @Captain24? Say all the 'broken record stuff'? I'm happy to listen.

[Captain24]

I put my washing on the line and took it off @Jynx. I was shaking but I did it. I just didn’t look to the right. 

They gave me Tuesday night off so I can go to the course on Wednesday so I’ve made an extra appointment with my psych. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 oooh nice one, on both counts!! Keen to see your psych?

[Captain24]

Yeah I am @Jynx. I feel like 3 weeks is too far away with this exposure stuff. I don’t want it hanging over my head that long. 

[Jynx]

Aye totally fair enough @Captain24! 

Much else on tonight?

[Captain24]

Nothing on @Jynx. I feel like I need a nap. I’m pretty tired. 

I’ve got lots that I should be doing but it’s ok, it’ll be there tomorrow. I will be kicking myself though. 

You get up to much today 

[Jynx]

Honestly what a mood @Captain24 haha I have spent my morning procrastinating for sure. Be a nice pile o dishes for me when I finish up tonight!! I got that like.... super 'meh' feeling in my body today, prolly cos of my hormones.