I can’t cope

[Captain24]

At least they are entertaining. Theres never a dull moment when she is around. @tyme Where does she even get it from? Like really… ‘are you dead’ it’s priceless. 

I could listen to her antics all day! But I’m not the one that has to take her out in public. 

We also had basgetti and ambluance.

[tyme]

Yes! Basgetti sure is one too! And ambluance! 

They are funny. And yes, never a dull moment. @Captain24 

Do you ever end up stepping on Jett or Pix because they run around your feet? I find I accidentally step on Ruby all the time. She's a lot more settled now.

Do you still have dinner with your family on Sundays?

[Captain24]

I step on them all the time @tyme. There is often a yelp in my house. Pix is better so I only step on her occasionally but Jett gets in the way a lot! 

Don’t feel bad.. it’s normal! 

Is she loving her holiday? 

Covid stopped the dinners and we never got back into it. That I’m glad about. It’s been better for me. 

I’m suppose to do lunch with a friend this week but I’m not sure that I’m up for it. 

[tyme]

Good... coz it happens all the time.. Ruby is just in the way all the time. Poor thing.

Oh! Has it been that long since you had Sunday dinners already?

As for the lunch, it's probably good for accountability's sake - even if you don't so much enjoy the outing @Captain24 

Did you get a rest after work today?

[Captain24]

Yeah don’t feel bad.. @tyme Pix is 5 and still gets in the way! You have a lifetime of it! 

It has been. Lockdown was good for me in some aspects. It kept some distance between us and it has helped a little with the relationship not that they have realised the boundaries. My Pdoc that was at the hospital said it was sad for me that they haven’t noticed. Im going to miss her next time I go back. If I go back. At least my psych is still there I guess. 

Yeah I got a couple of hours sleep this morning but I feel wrecked. It messes with my head really badly. And I’m really not ok but I’m trying to hide it. 

I don’t know if I can people with her for long enough for lunch. I might change my mind over the weekend and organise it on Monday. I’ll see. 

Do you have much in over the weekend? Are your parents driving you crazy? 

Oh.. I just went on an app and entered a competition to win Kylie tickets! 

[tyme]

Nice! Hope you get the tickets @Captain24 !

I agree. COVID was also helpful for me in many ways. In my head, I was thinking "Wow, now the world might 'get' what I mean when I say I live in turmoil everyday". It seemed that while the whole world was triggered, I was quite chill.

I developed much better boundaries and routines during covid - eating, sleeping, waking, socialising.

I can't do too much socialising... it's draining to pretend to be something I'm not... 

I hope you get to see your psych soon again. Sad you won't see the pdoc.

My parents have been pretty good this time... apart from following me around with spoons of jelly (twice now - until I shouted at mum that i don't want jelly!).

Believe it or not, it's my sister who's annoying me most this time round!

[Captain24]

The major prize is a meet and greet. That would be so cool @tyme. I’ve been a Kylie fan from her locomotion days!

Covid made me realise how isolated I am. It didn’t change anything for me. I still had work and then came home to nothing. It was good to be allowed to be isolated. It hasn’t really changed much since though. 

It’s good you got a routine out of it. That must have helped so much with your MH. 

I get that with socialising. That’s why I don’t like to do it. No one wants to see the real me. I’m not much of a person and don’t have anything to offer so I hate pretending. 

I have a Telehealth with my psych on Tuesday. I was relieved when the reminder came out from the hospital. It meant that she hadn’t left too. Something bad has gone down there as my Pdoc and the allied health specialist who set up the clinic have both left. I’m trying to track down my Pdoc though. I’m hoping she has gone into private practice and I might be able to see her. I keep googling her. I will ask my psych on Tuesday though hoping she knows something. 

It’s annoying when they have to feed you! I’m glad they are being good though. It makes it easier. Is it your sister from Melbourne or the one from Sydney? 

[tyme]

Oh @Captain24  there WAS a mass exodus of psychiatrists in NSW. I saw this the other day. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-01-16/nsw-government-planned-public-psychiatrist-exodus-explainer/1...

I wonder if they saw this coming and decided to make the move first? Who knows?

Wow! Kylie meet and greet! Sounds awesome! What's the likelihood of you winning???

COVID actually helped me in that I didn't NEED an excuse not to go out lol. That really helped. Being on the forums meant I was working, so that was my social connection.

My sister from Melb is rubbing me up the wrong way. I think it's my fault because I can't help myself. Things to do with the children etc. I know something is good/not good for them, but she sees differently. I have to remember to step back because they are NOT my children. I have to be very careful and set myself some internal boundaries.

As for my older sister, I've only seen her once and I've had enough. I might see her tomorrow. I need to bite my tongue.

After being here in Sydney this time, I've come to the conclusion that I want to live by myself for the rest of my life. I don't think I could be hemmed down with marriage, kids or family. I wonder if it gets more isolating later??? I don't know. Thoughts?

[Captain24]

Nah it’s a private hospital and she loved that place @tyme There is no way she would have chosen to leave. 

I never win anything so it won’t happen! But I can dream. 

I get how hard it must be for you as you have the kids so much for her. I can see the need for boundaries for both of you. Are you all together that often in melb or do the kids come over and your sis stays at her place? 

Not really a fan of your other sister hey. 

Yeah.. I’m older than you and can’t see my life with anyone in it. I don’t want to have to be there for someone or them for me. I have grown to love my own space. I am concerned as I get older though. There will be no one around if things get hard. But for you you will always have your nieces and nephew who will be able to support you if you need in the older years. 

[tyme]

I'm not sure @Captain24 . When you think about it, you were close to your niece in the past too, right? I remember the cake you made for her birthday.

I reckon as soon as these kids are older, they will disappear. 

My sister hardly ever comes to my place. Only the kids come over, or I go over to her house to mind the kids. But no, she never comes over.

As I've mentioned before, when the kids are older, I'm most likely going to find another place. I'm looking at properties now (even though I'm in no position to purchase at the moment). I just want to see what's out there. 

I was thinking of buying a beach holiday house, but I can't be bothered driving to get it renovated and looked after. 

But yeah, I do consider whether I'd be isolated when I get 'old'. But then again, do I want to live with someone now (put up with it) for the purpose of not being alone in the future? I don't think I can put up with the stress of it lol.

Oh well.. we'll just have to live to an old age on the forums lol - together