My special place

[NatureLover]

Thinking of you dear @Eve7  with your pdoc appt today and am hoping you can get something out of it... 

i've also read Ash Barty's book and it was good. 

I'm sorry to hear your DIL lost her grandmother too 😢

Sending care 💛

[Snowie]

So the SW from the hospital was meant to come out today. He cancelled last week and has cancelled this week too. Messaged me this morning. He was also meant to email my pdoc about a few things we discussed 2 weeks ago and he didn't. His had long enough. I really don't know why I bother. I start opening up to someone and then I just get discarded. So over it.

[Eve7]

That sux @Snowie. I’m so annoyed that happened to you.

[Snowie]

There's nothing I can do about it. I guess there are others that need more help. Just makes me feel worthless. 

How are you going @Eve7? Have you seen your pdoc yet?

[Eve7]

You deserve the sw to be reliable @Snowie and if they’re assigned to you they should be there for you.

I saw pdoc and she suggested an admission so I said no. The last thing I need is to be confined with a bunch of unknown people. Pdoc said to call her if I change my mind.

I came home, slept for a couple of hours and woke up wishing I was in hospital.

[Snowie]

Just another thing to add to the crap happening. Why should this be any different. No point relying on anyone.

Maybe hospital might be the best thing @Eve7 I know it's not something you don't want hon, but at the end of the day you need to what is best for you. 

[Eve7]

You deserve this support @Snowie 

I’m wishing I’d said yes now.

[Snowie]

Can you ring your pdoc @Eve7 or send them an email?

It is never too late hon. You deserve all the support out there.

More and more I feel unworthy, today just solidifies that. The way forward just seems too hard. 

[Eve7]

You are definitely not unworthy @Snowie please don’t ever think that.

S1 has a significant birthday this weekend with a party planned. I need to be there and not turn the attention on to me. My mi causes so much disruption to my family.

[Snowie]

Can it be after this weekend @Eve7 I know the hospital I go into normally doesn't admit on weekends anyway. Maybe it can be something that happens next week. I know it is hard on the rest of your family, but sometimes you just need to put you first. You are so worth it.

Right now I have so many emotions and thoughts running through my head, always on repeat. It is hard not to get caught up in them and believe them.