Dealing with flashbacks

[Skyefox]

TW:

I don't really know what to put here but I really struggle daily with ptsd flashbacks from the night my father left this world by his own hand. What are peoples coping strategies because over the last three years nothing has seemed to even help

[tyme]

Hey there @Skyefox ,

Welcome to the forums. It sounds incredibly hard to have to face this on your own. 

Do you have people you can talk to about what's happening for you?

The loss, the grief, the shock and really affect a person. 

Please know we are here for you.

Hope to hear from you soon.

[MJG017]

Hi @Skyefox, welcome to the forum.  I've known a couple of people who have had to deal with a similar experience and I really struggle how difficult it must be to have gone through that.

I assume you've probably already tried a lot of things, but I'll mention them just in case.  Grounding techniques like feeling something close by, deep breathing and labeling the emotions you're having when these flashback occur can help keep you in the present and just allow you to keep in mind that it is just your mind trying to process what has happened.  Hopefully this can reduce the intensity of those emotions over time.

Some people have tried to express their feelings in a journal or even artistically.  I guess it's finding a technique that helps you the most.  If you haven't already talked to a counselor or therapist then that could probably help you find some techniques that may work for you.  I've found support groups really helpful for dealing with some of the different things I'm going through, so maybe there might be a specific group nearby with people who have had a similar experience, or even online that maybe be helpful.  Other than that we are always here as well.

There are a few support services you could also look at like...

https://standbysupport.com.au/

https://www.supportaftersuicide.org.au/

Again, i'm sorry for what you're going through and how difficult it must me for you.  I wish I had some guaranteed solution for you.  Just remember to take good care of yourself.  No one would find this easy in any way.

[Snowie]

Hi @Skyefox 

Welcome to the Sane forums.

I constantly have to deal with flashbacks daily. Whilst I haven't had to go through what you have, I deal with trauma from my past. At times, it feels like that they take over my life and my days are constantly spent just trying to deal with them. To make them go away.

I have tried many things to help with them over the years. Some have helped, others not.

I have supports in place that help me. I see a psychologist as well as a psychiatrist. Some people don't like to admit it, but I am on several different medications that seem to be helping too.

I have tried TMS, DBT, EMDR, ECT at different times throughout my journey. I have had some hospital visits when things have gotten really bad. At the moment I am doing ECT monthly and EMDR with my psych.

When the flashbacks occur, I try and distract myself. I use music, podcasts, tv, movies, playing with my dog, spending time with my family, even coming on here and talking to others, sewing/crafting. Even taking some meds at times.

It's not easy. I have days where I can't get out of bed, days spent on the couch and then days where it feels like I can take on anything.

This is just a small look into things I have tried. It's hard, especially when they feel like they consume us. 

The main thing I want you to know is that you are not alone. There are plenty of people on here that will be able to relate to what you are going through. There is always a listening ear on here.

Take care 💗💗

[StorknSnail]

Hi Skyefox,

Sound really tough.

I wonder, what did you try and how it didn't work? 

I used a lot of what I call "memory re-writing". It is similar to the "dream rescripting" technique developed for nightmares.
Basically, I re-invented many variations of my traumatic events, to alter the story of what really happened, and lead it to a better end.

This doesn't make you forget what happened. But it gives you a positive layer of "what could have happened instead", a kind of padding between you and the traumatic memory. A better go-to place to lead your mind into when it wants to slip into the trauma. 
 
Some people need the alternative story to be as realistic as possible (someone who could have been there stepping in and intervening). Others find it better to go into wild fantasy (eg, a blue magic elephant flying down and saving the day). The important thing, in my opinion, is to experiment and create the scenarios and variations that work for you.

For me, memory re-writing was one of the best things. I spent hours creating many options that "corrected" the memory in many different ways, exploring how things could have - and should have! - gone better. 

Here is a link to a guide of memory rescripting - I find it a bit rigid, but you can play with it to your heart content. I preferred to first create the corrective scene/story in my mind, and write it later. Also, I didn't bother with the detailed writing of my trauma. Why suffering? 
https://depts.washington.edu/uwbrtc/wp-content/uploads/Nightmare-Protocol.pdf

   
Also, worth looking at Ideal Parent Figure Imagery. It is basically the same technique, just focusing on relationships and attachment elements. I found it helpful later on when my PTSD started to wean off and I wanted to work on the traumatic attachment I had.
Here is a sweet article about that:
https://www.davidelliottphd.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Elliott.AttachmentRelationalHealing.pdf

Again, feel free to play with it. I didn't want to do it with a therapist, so skipped the first half of the article and studied it from page 10. A friend of mine, in contrast, said she really needed a therapist for that, to prompt her through the process.
 

Hope that helps! Tell us what you think 🙂 

[GorionPax]

Hi, I have issues with flashbacks when it comes to scents that are related to the trauma I've received. I've found that sometimes, getting busy or instant distractions can help me with pulling myself out of reliving the experiences. However, as others have recommend, having support from others can go a long way with processing those raw emotions and lifting the burden from you. A counsellor or a therapist could give you new insights, techniques or even self talk that may help. 

You have a lot of support here in the forums that can help you. 🙂