Hi there HenryX,

Thank you for your thoughts. There are some parts that I connect with immediately while others are a bit different. I wil attempt to explain.

I know I am hypersensitive to criticism. I have spent a lot of time working on my reactions to others and try to remind myself that their reactions could be nothing to do with me personally. Maybe they are just ticking boxes on a form, dealing with a sick child at home or are having their own "bad" day. However, being on my own in a new town, it is cold and my money reserves are reducing, the self-doubts are crowding in.

I had given my plans a lot of thought as being a planner is something I have always been good at. Apparently, it is something that often happens for people who were neglected and/or abused as children. They are always trying to plan their escapes when things at home are not as hoped.

Although I had planned, I hadn't realised how much COVID had impacted the rental market and approval processes even in these tiny rural areas. I'm not going to be sleeping in the car THIS week. There is wiggle room in the budget but I can feel myself getting scared. Again, the self-doubts are crowding in.

As you wrote, I do "tend to think that other people will be aware of and responsive to" my needs and situation. I know I am a good person. I know I have never not paid rent on time. I know that I have always looked after other people's houses. But others just don't understand that. I used to own an investment property myself, so I know what has to be done and why. I do understand but as I sit here, alone, cold, confused, disheartened, trying not to panic, I start to question my place on this planet. 

Thank you for your concern. I don't know what else to say. Sometimes it just starts to feel too hard.