@Christheart 

I actually just rang an online number and asked for help. It was actually really helpful and I actually feel a little better. I was completely honest which was hard but at the same time relieving. He gave me a little hope and even explained why I did the stupid thing. He showed me that I do have some strength by reaching out. 

I don’t know what caused this crisis or what triggered it. I wish I knew so I could see the sign in the future. It’s been brewing for about 6 weeks and I hit rock bottom last Wednesday. 

I live out in the country so having access to MH support is quite difficult. I can’t even get into see my GP for 2 weeks. 

It’s a massive roller coaster. I am scared but I can finally see that I may actually make it. Until an hour ago I didn’t think I would.

I pray that we both make it!

captain24