Trying to focus on the little wins. 

Went to bed last night ok. Woke up ok. Had a reasonable day. I had light in my day. Went for 2 walks and one was with a friend. 

But

Now the darkness is coming back. I don’t know what to do. Why can I stay in an okish place. why can’t I just enjoy at least a day. Why does it always have to come back. Why does it always have to be so black. Why couldn’t it just be gray sometimes. 

Im so tired. I’m so tired of this.  I’m so tired of fighting. I’ve just had enough. I can’t even make a whole day.

Will this ever get easier? If it doesn’t I don’t know if I can do.

Ignore me please.

Just need somewhere to vent out

loud to not lose my mind completely.