Hi @Oaktree I hope you had a tolerable day.  My husband and I went to an Irish pub for his birthday today. Huge roast turkey and ham with lots of veggies and everything else. Dessert was very tasty.   I always worry my husband feels his birthday is secondary to Christmas. This year we decided to stay in our own state instead of travelling 9 hours to see family. I also didn’t realise my husband felt like he was working when going home because his family would enquire /set up computers, phones, tv etc.   I think going out for lunch together will be our new birthday/Christmas tradition!  ... View more

Make sure you all take care of yourselves over the Christmas and new years period.  I know I will be crying a little and eating a lot! Looking forward to the husband and I’s tradition of sitting on the lounge and watching Die Hard Christmas night.  ... View more

@Sugarshack thank you for replying. I connect so much with what you’re saying.  I think I’ve been trying to do the reframing especially the night before work. But I nope out the morning of. It’s become a pattern that I will especially be focusing on next year.  I also need to remind myself I’m no longer in survival mode anymore. I can now actively live/work/play with the supports I have in place.    ... View more

Hello @blackrose1  My husband and I are child free and have been throughout our relationship.  As others have suggested counselling (individual and couples) would be a good idea.  I guess in my situation my husband has never wanted children and hasn’t changed his mind over the course of our relationship. When I am having a bit of a ‘but do I?!’ moment, I do a pros and cons list which reminds me of why I have chosen to be child free.  Can I ask if you had a discussion about children before getting married?  Were children discussed before your husband had a vasectomy?  I can see how things can be very confusing for you and discussions definitely need to be had especially with no BC or protection currently being used.   ... View more

Thank you @Captain24 @MJG017  Both of your input has helped   ... View more

@Ru-bee @I’m not having the greatest of days today but typing everything out and re reading has given me a bit of relief from how I’m feeling. I had a little cry with typing/reading and will probably get into some gym clothes and go workout!  ... View more

This is going to be long… I haven’t written all this out before so let see how this goes Managing depression and anxiety has been a life long balance for me.  Growing up I had signs of GAD and social anxiety but my parents never took me to a psychologist or psychiatrist for these issues. I had awful self esteem and couldn’t keep friends.   After school I went to tafe and studied a cert 4 in community services work and then a diploma. Still unmedicated, but I did see a psychologist for panic attacks when doing public speaking.  I then went into the community services field and eventually ended up working in youth homelessness and juvenile justice. I loved it! Except one of my managers wasn’t trauma informed and really didn’t care about the wellbeing of the young people in our care. A year after starting a young person (had just turned 16) in our care took her own life in the refuge. I was shattered and kept working in the refuge for another year. Had a breakdown with SI for 6 months, went on antidepressants and was seeing a psychologist.   Had to keep changing jobs in welfare because of burnout.   Left the field 4 years ago and started working at a cattery, which I enjoyed but was used as a vent by the owner. My dad was also venting to me about family and my mum. This was too much for me so I found another job.  I started schema therapy while at the cattery and it changed my life for the better. Learning to be my own healthy adult and connect with my vulnerable child was damn hard but worth it.   Last year I started working for a well known grocery chain as a delivery driver. I had a colleague befriend me and start venting about managers. I unfortunately gave this person my mobile and they were texting me walls of texts about work on my days off. I ended up in emergency for self harm and SI.  I went to a psychiatrist for a medication as I had been feeling my medication wasn’t working. I didn’t think I could make it through the tapering on and off so I didn’t change medication. I made an appointment with my psychologist but cancelled. My husband and I were also in the process of buying an apartment. I changed jobs and was working as a meter reader. My husband was made redundant from his job. I hurt myself at work and was on light duties for two weeks. I was already avoiding socialising but I started avoiding work and my husband and I started to struggle financially. SI kicked in and I thought my death would allow my husband to lead his life comfortably. I had detached all emotion for my cats so wasn’t worried about them.  The rest is in a previous post I made. ……. I’m back in regular therapy and doing free ACT group therapy. I’m ok. Still trying to find meaning and I’ll see where life takes me!      ... View more

Hi, I’m new to Sane but have struggled with MH for most of my life (36yo). most recently I was in hospital for 2.5 weeks and another 2.5 weeks at a community recovery centre. I’ve been home full time for almost two weeks now and gosh it’s hard.   TW: Suicde Attempt I did not expect to survive my attempt at taking my life. I’ve on and off had SI but had never acted on the thoughts until last month.  anyway, trying to get my life back together after a pretty traumatic time.  starting up regular therapy again and will be going to an ACT group fortnightly.  ... View more