Thanks @Former-Member and everyone else.
Yesterday was a weird day - it's just my family is so dysfunctional. You would not know it to look at us - we all look normal, I suppose.
There is a lot of mis-communication and a lot of passive-aggressive stuff going on. My Bro and my Sis believe they are both reasonable people, but really they are very difficult to manage and have a lot of trouble saying what they really think..... also, they are both very, very passive aggressive! My Sis does whole "deep sighing" thing with sarcasm and eye-rolling, while my brother tries to twist my words and and he also yells a lot. He has an extremely loud voice and is verbally intimidating.
They really are not sensible to the needs of a dying person, either. My poor Dad. What usually happens is my Sis phones me and I sort everything out with Dad's doctors, then I call her straight back. She really isn't capable of taking the initiative to phone any care provider or doctor herself, she is quite helpless. She is just not up to it (I believe she is having a nervous breakdown! I have told her to get professional help.)
Anyway, Dad came home yesterday and he is not going too bad, I guess, for a dying person. He was able to walk a little bit, but he mainly just slept in his chair. My Bro collapsed on the couch and tried to sleep while my Sis went back to work on her computer. I made Dad a cup of tea and actually spoke to him and made sure he was comfortable.
Then.... I decided to leave. I went on-line and booked a nice B & B, where I could rest for the day in town, before catching my bus that evening back home to my husband. I spent the afternoon sitting under the shade of a beautiful tree at the B & B, on a sun lounge drinking white wine and reading a book. I told my Bro and my Sis that I was working on my PhD thesis in the town library, but I was doing no such thing! So I told a white lie, but Oh Well, I didn't feel that bad about it. I was just glad to get the hell out of there!!
Now I am back home and feel at peace. The thing is.... for the last two years, I have really been there for my Dad. I have done so much.... and my Dad has been alternatively either oppositional or helpless. He refuses to go to doctors appointmets, when he does go, he wont tell them what is wrong. He refuses to follow his doctor's advice, too. He doesn't like taking pills.
He refuses to go to hospital, even when he can't breathe properly. I have to beg him to go.
All this time, it's been an absolute struggle to drag my sister away from her job to help me. I took time off work, without pay, to look after Dad, while she wouldn't even take carer's leave, and be paid, when it was owed to her. She just loves working so much!
All this time, well, most of it, my Bro refused to believe that my Dad was really sick and kept telling me that all my Dad's problems were in his head. Yes, even after my Dad lost 20 kg and couldn't breathe propery! My Bro would yell at me "There is nothing wrong with him."
So I guess I think that now it's their turn to take care of him.
