I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I’m not sure that he does manage it @tyme. He wouldn’t be any support at all. I don’t know how she manages it, if she’s on meds or doing therapy. No idea

Well i just got called stupid! I’m fighting back the tears. 

That’s not something I needed to hear. I’m telling myself that enough. It’s like this just confirms it. 

[tyme]

Sometimes, I get frustrated with my niece, and i blurt out, "Are you stupid?" I feel bad, but i get so frustrated. I wonder if your parents were just frustrated?

@Captain24 

Remember, feelings, ideas, thoughts and emotions are data. They are not fact. 

Just because they say it, it doesn't mean it's fact. Would you consider letting them know how much that hurt you?

[Captain24]

Nah.. I was heading to the normal exit of the beach and I asked dad where he was going. He said ‘you really are that stupid, think of your mother’ @tyme 

It shows what they think of me. 

I can’t say anything. There is no way I could stand up to them. I just have to take it on board.

Im so sorry for way over sharing. I hope it’s ok. I’m still not real comfortable or confident 

[tyme]

Oh, you mean you were walking to the normal exit? Or driving? And then they called you stupid because your mum can't actually go through that exit safely? Do I have that correct? @Captain24  Sorry if I don't.

I can see how much that hurts, esp if they have treated you like that your whole life. Have you felt a difference since your brother has been around? Do they change how they treat you?

I'm sorry to read how little confidence you have. You deserve so much more. You really are an amazing person. If only people just let you thrive in your element. Those little words and looks can be so damaging...

[Captain24]

It didn’t make much sense. Sorry @tyme 

We were walking. The entrance dad wanted to walk out was closer than the regular one. He said mum couldn’t walk any further on the sand.

My brother was just here for last nights dinner so he isn’t around. 

Im not sure if I will ever have any confidence in life ever. It would be so nice to be supported just a little just to know that I have somewhere there. But im not sure I’ll regain my confidence on here either. 

[tyme]

Got it. I didn't want to jump to conclusions if you didn't get it @Captain24 . I'm just picturing myself in that situation. If someone said that to me, I think my response would be, "Sorry, I didn't know you wanted to go to that entrance. How was I supposed to know if you don't say anything?"

I reckon I'd be annoyed to be honest. 

And if I continued to want to go to the regular exit, then I would... 

I can see myself fired up.

So when your parents said that to you, what exactly did you do? Put your head down and just go?

Also, if I don't respond soon, it means I'm wrapping up. But I will see you mid week 🙂

[Captain24]

Yeah I just take it @tyme 

Im hoping you’re still around to get this.

I want to let you know that I am thinking of you and that the next few days are kind to you. 

[Jynx]

Hiya @Captain24! 

Turvy topsy weekend eh? How's your Monday going?

[Jynx]

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@avant-garde wrote:

Just jumping in here to do this

*runs up to @tyme and gives her the biggest hug I can manage*

If @Jynx is the big sister, you're the grandmother, you have that kind of feel to me

Ok that is all

---

Oh bless ya lil heart @avant-garde this is v cute! 

I'm the *big sibling though cos I'm non-binary 😋

[Captain24]

Yeah it’s been a bit rough @Jynx They are really starting to niggle at each other. I haven’t been called stupid today yet. Is what I’ve said ok? I’m scare to say much more but there is a lot going on in my mind.

We did some stuff that mom wanted today. We walked up a fire trail to get to a lagoon. It’s was a bit of a fail but mum was happy that we did it. 

It’s been raining all afternoon but (you’ll be proud) I did go to the beach, in the rain! It was freezing cold and I was the only one in the water! I came home and had a hot shower and put a tracksuit on! 

How was the rest of your weekend?